


Forget the “What Ifs”

by Hinganbachuru (Twilight_Joltik)



Category: Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club, Hidden Block - Fandom, Normal Boots, PBG Hardcore
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Anxiety Attacks, Knights - Freeform, M/M, One Shot, fretting about the future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 05:17:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14664090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twilight_Joltik/pseuds/Hinganbachuru
Summary: Austin and Jeff are knights in training and close friends. Austin suspects Jeff is struggling with something and very worried about it. These suspicions are confirmed when Jeff comes to talk to him in the middle of the night.





	Forget the “What Ifs”

**Author's Note:**

> Me: I should write Spacebutter Fluff!   
> Also Me: proceeds to write this, a very unfluffy thing
> 
> Still, I like how it turned out, so enjoy!

Austin became a knight because he wanted to help people. He figured that was what knights were supposed to do, right? Be selfless and protect the citizens. Wasn’t that just and right?

 

Well, as he quickly learned, next to none of the other knights were in the position to be selfless. There were an awful lot of snobby rich kids in there for the prestige, or because their parents had threatened to take away their allowances, or because they thought it might get them in the Queen’s good graces. Among his platoon, there were only one or two more who even remotely cared about the whole protecting the people thing. But hey, at least that meant he found a few friends!

 

Dean was a questionable case. He insisted he wanted to be a hero, but Austin couldn’t tell if he wanted that to help people or to be thought of as cool. Jared was questionable too- he was another bored rich kid, but from the way his eyes shone when he got to handle a sword for the first time, it was pretty clear that he was thrilled to be there. And sure, Barry outright said he joined the knights because he didn’t have anything better to do with himself, but he also glared at anyone who asked what the point was with saving civilians. 

 

The three of them were nice, and Austin liked talking to them when he could, but the only one who really matched his own enthusiasm was a guy named Jeff. When he first met him, he wasn’t sure since a lot of the snobs were staring at him in some sort of awe, so he thought maybe he was like them, but he wasn’t at all! He was super nice and super talented and cared about pretty much everyone. He felt lucky just to be friends with him!

 

They trained together a fair bit. He was always Austin’s favorite to watch fighting. He wasn’t exactly elegant; his sword strokes were frantic, as if desperately clawing them out, and his aim with bows was a bit shaky. But, he always looked so thrilled whenever he’d land a blow or execute a complicated maneuver. It made Austin feel happy. 

 

Plus, he was fun to talk to! Not many other trainees would talk to him for whatever reason, but Austin didn’t mind. Selfishly, he was kind of glad to get him to himself. He always had interesting stories, about books he’d read or faraway lands he may have been to. He didn’t like talking about his family, but Austin wouldn’t press on that. He had to have good reasons to not want to talk about it. 

 

After a few months, they were pretty much best friends! Austin hadn’t really had a best friend before, so it was cool to have someone who he could talk to whenever about whatever. And, he could tell Jeff was grateful to have him too. He always smiled a lot when they were together, and laughed even when Austin’s jokes were dumb. 

 

Still, as nice as it was, sometimes Austin wondered if Jeff was alright. He zoned out sometimes, and often had dark circles under his eyes or would almost fall asleep in class. He didn’t want to bring up anything that might make him uncomfortable, but was everything okay? Was he going through something hard? Or having some anxiety problems or something? 

 

It took a while, but he finally got an answer there. Or rather, Jeff finally opened up about it. Came to his door at an ungodly hour and apologized for waking him up. 

 

“S-sorry, I know it’s really late, but I can’t sleep at all and I thought maybe… I dunno, talking could help?”

 

“Of course!”, Austin exclaimed. “No need to apologize, I’m happy to help!”

 

He ushered his friend in and sat down on his bed with him. “So, what are you worried about?”, Austin questioned. “What’s bothering you?”

 

Jeff just sighed deeply. “A lot of things,” he started, tugging at a strand of hair. “Like, how I can’t aim with a crossbow with the life of me and I keep freaking out whenever you fall or get scratched up during training and I just… I’m scared, you know? I- I don’t wanna take the throne.”

 

“H-huh?” The throne? Had he heard him right? “What do you mean, take the throne?”

 

His friend’s face went pale. “You didn’t know?”, he questioned. 

 

“Know what?”, Austin asked in turn. “A-are you-?”

 

“The prince, yes,” Jeff finished for him. “I thought you knew. I thought you knew and just didn’t care…” His voice trembled as if he were on the verge of tears. “I thought you just wanted to treat me like a normal person…”

 

Austin paused to process this all. Jeff was a prince. His prince, the one the most skilled knights would someday serve directly under. He would be king someday. He’d marry a noble of status similar to his own. Why did that last one make him feel uneasy? Why did he even think of that at all?

 

Taking a deep breath, he put a hand on Jeff’s shoulder. “I won’t treat you any differently, alright?”, he assured him. “You’re my friend. I would have died for you without it being my future job.”

 

That made Jeff laugh a bit. “I forbid you from dying for me,” he decreed in a mock-official bellow. “If you’re my knight and you get so much as a scratch I’m gonna change your job to Royal Sit-In-A-Room-Filled-With-Pillows-All-Day-er so you won’t ever get hurt again.”

 

It was Austin’s turn to giggle. “Aw, well, I wanna protect people! I wanna protect you!”, he insisted. “If I’m just sitting in a room filled with pillows I can’t save anything!”

 

“I know,” Jeff conceded. “I just know I couldn’t live with knowing you got hurt… But I know I can’t stop you from doing a job you love.”

 

Job… that brought something to mind for him. “Oh, Jeff?”, Austin asked. “Why are you training as a knight if you’re the prince?”

 

Eyes darting to the floor, Jeff seemed to almost blush. “Uh, well, truth is… I just kind of wanted some combat training. Mother says I shouldn’t be on the battlefield and people will be able to protect me if the worst happens, but I don’t wanna just be dead weight to my knights, you know?”

 

Austin nodded. “That’s noble. I feel a lot better knowing that’s how our prince is thinking about stuff. If most of these other nobles were in charge I’d be worried!”

 

“Well, I mean, some of them aren’t that bad,” Jeff added. “But I get your point. I wanna protect you guys even more now that I know you, though! Everyone has lives and families and hopes and dreams! If any of them lost all that because of me, I don’t know how I’d live with myself!”, he exclaimed, eyes tearing up. “What if you die? Y-you’re my only real friend. You aren’t trying to suck up to me just because you think I could do stuff for your sake or because you want to marry me for my power! I’d hate myself forever!”

 

In an odd way, Austin felt happy to hear that. To know he meant that much to Jeff. But mostly, he just felt awful. He was just making things worse for him by talking to him, not helping! 

 

A pit formed in his stomach. He didn’t want to be a cause of worry for Jeff. If Jeff needed him safe, then that was what he had to be. “I’ll resign, then,” he stated. “I can be a hero in a safer way. A teacher, maybe, or a doctor, or I could take care of animals.”

 

“N-no!”, Jeff exclaimed, grabbing onto his hand. “No no no, don’t do that for me! Please, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it like that! I know this is your dream, so please don’t even think of giving it up for me!”

 

Tears were pouring out of Jeff’s eyes now. Austin felt sick. “I- I keep upsetting you,” he muttered, rubbing circles over Jeff’s hand with his thumb. “I can’t stand that… I wanna do something to make you happy, and I’d do anything if it would.”

 

Jeff hugged him. “Can I just hold you?”, Jeff asked softly. “I know… I know I couldn’t do this… but part of me really wishes I could just hold you forever…”

 

Austin sank into the hug. Jeff’s arms felt soft and safe- like a warm blanket. “I wouldn’t mind that,” he mumbled into his shoulder. 

 

He felt fingers gently winding through his hair, smoothing it down carefully. “I can’t protect you,” Jeff mumbled. “And I can’t marry you, so this is all I can give you.”

 

“Marry me?”, Austin repeated. He felt like he’d just missed a step on the stairs. His heart was pounding and even though he was safe in Jeff’s arms, he may as well have been in freefall. “Would you even want to do that?”

 

An empty laugh came from his friend. “I told you, you’re the only person who cares about me for who I am. You’re wonderful in every way. And, well, I’m a sheltered hopeless romantic. I couldn’t not fall for you, really.”

 

The back of his neck burned. “Jeff… I- I love you too!”, he exclaimed. He hadn’t even realized it until he said it, but the words sounded right coming out of his mouth. His best friend, the one he’d give up anything for. Of course he loved him!

 

It took a minute for Jeff to respond, or even move at all. His fingers froze in his hair, still curled around a few strands. After a moment, he drew away from him, staring blankly at the floor. “Please don’t,” he muttered. “I- I know I can’t have you so please don’t make it harder.”

 

Nothing hurt worse than seeing Jeff like this. Utterly destroyed because what he wanted was in his grasp. Torn apart worrying about tomorrow. Too busy to smile today. “Jeff, you keep doing this,” Austin started. “You keep getting all worried about what might happen. I know that’s hard to avoid, but can’t we just think about today for now? You aren’t King yet. You’re still a knight in training, and no one’s gonna get too upset if you’re just dating someone.”

 

Jeff looked up and met his gaze. He smiled despite the tears still streaming down his face. “Y-yeah. You’re right. It’s not like we have to get married or anything. But… what if-”

 

Austin cut him off with a little peck on the lips. Even as slight as it was, it felt magical. He pulled away quickly, though. He still needed to say something. “Let’s put the ‘what ifs’ away for now, alright? If we’re still in love by the time you’re expected to get married, or if stuff gets bad in the kingdom and we have to fight, we’ll worry about that when it comes. But, that’s a long way away. We still have a lot of now to enjoy.”

 

He felt lips against his and arms around his body. A little “thank you” was whispered into the crook of his neck, but it wasn’t needed. He could feel all he needed to know from the gentleness. There was no desperation in Jeff’s kisses, just a sweet affection that wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. 

 

They ended up curled up together in Austin’s bed, Jeff’s head on his chest. They barely said anything, just listened to each other’s breathing. 

 

Maybe they wouldn’t have this forever. Maybe this would end badly, be it in blood or tears. But, now was more than enough. 


End file.
